Bette leant against the door sobbing for a while. The passing of time meant nothing to her, nothing meant anything to her now she was on her own. She rested her head in her hands. Looking at the empty house she realised how alone she was. There were no sounds coming from anywhere, it was just her and the darkness. She didn’t feel like there was any point to anything. Even though her work had caused friction between her and Tina, in the end everything she’d done had been for her. When she earned all that money all she wanted to do was spend it on Tina. What was the point in achieving some great deal if she had no-one to come home and tell about it?

She heard the sound of a key being slotted into the door. She lifted her head and pulled herself out of her thoughts.

“Tina?” she asked loudly, so her voice could be heard outside.

“Yeah, it’s me” came the reply.

“You came back”

“I guess I did. Can I just open the door a little?” Tina called through the barrier.

“Sure”

Tina turned the key in lock and opened the door slightly so she wouldn’t have to shout anymore. Bette slid on the chain and felt Tina’s weight relax against the exterior of the door.

“Can we just talk like this?” Tina asked.

“I’d like that” Bette said softly.

“I’m sorry. I just want to talk out loud, but if I can see you it might make me close up. Is that too weird?”

“Not at all. I’m here to listen”

“The things that happened that night. We have to face them. And to do that we have to deal with them together”

“I know. No-one else could even begin to understand”

“We both did what felt right at the time. We can’t both keep blaming ourselves coz we both played a role”

“That’s true. Can we agree that no-one was at fault for their actions?” Bette asked hopefully.

“That night our emotions took control. We needed each other so we took each other in the only way we could. It’s understandable”

“I needed you, T. In that moment, when I saw the hurt in your eyes. I think it was only then that I fully understood what I’d done. I realised that what I needed was right here, that you were the person that could make everything okay. But I knew I’d blown it so I had to do what I did” Bette tried to rationalise.

“I understand. And I needed proof that you still wanted me. I needed to know that things still worked, that we were still…compatible”

“We were, weren’t we?” Bette asked.

“Yeah, I think we were. Even when I hated you, you still did it for me”

“Hated? Past tense?” Bette whispered.

“I hated you that night. Not any more”

They sat in silence for a few moments, neither one quite knowing what to say next. Eventually, Bette decided to speak.

“So how do you feel about me now?”

Tina closed her eyes and leant her head back against the door. That was they key question, wasn’t it? At the end of the day, that was what it all came down to. How did she really feel about Bette? Did she even know?

“I…there’s no simple answer to that. I’m just gonna tell you everything that’s going on in my head. Can you bear with me?”

“Of course”

Bette bit her lip. This was the answer she’d been waiting to hear throughout all their conversations. Nothing else really mattered apart from how Tina felt now. If there was no love left there, then it didn’t even seem worth carrying on. Was Tina going to give her some hope, something to cling on to? Or was she going to shatter the few shreds of possibility that Bette had left?

“Ok, you have to just let me speak now” Tina waited to make sure Bette understood and wasn’t going to interrupt her.

Bette fought the urge to speak. She knew she owed it to Tina to let her have her say.

“My first instinct was just to hate you. But then I started to think, and I realised that no matter what you did, that could never happen. There’s too much between us for that to ever happen. I felt betrayed by you. Trust…well I think it’ll take me a long time to trust you again, even as a friend”

Bette closed her eyes when she heard the word “friend”. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear. She couldn’t handle being Tina’s friend. How could she be near her without being able to touch her, kiss her? It just couldn’t happen.

“I thought more about the situation, and I realised that it’s her that I hate the most. She knew you were taken, and yet she pursued you. That doesn’t mean I don’t blame you, it’s just parts of your reasoning I can understand. We were falling apart but we were both too scared to admit it. You needed intimacy and I wasn’t prepared to give it to you. We both needed different things at the time, and that always makes for trouble. So in a way I feel sorry for you”

Sympathy? I don’t want your sympathy, Bette thought. In fact, I don’t deserve your sympathy. Sympathy is a way of freeing me from blame, and I’ve come to accept that I’m at fault now. I feel like some poor person that you don’t really know and feel sorry for. It’s your love I want, not that.

“You turned to her for what I couldn’t, or wouldn’t, give you” Tina continued “So then I thought, maybe I want to help you. But then I figured, if I could have helped you, you’d have turned to me then. So now I’m just confused. I think of you and so many things come into my head. But deep down, there’s a part of me that still loves you. A part of me that still wants me to be the one that you turn to. Parts of me tell me that I shouldn’t feel that way, but there’s nothing I can do about my heart”

There was an awkward pause.

“You can speak now” Tina’s voice gave away the fact that she was smiling.

“I’m sorry I made you go through all that” Bette said sincerely.

“The good times outweigh the bad times. If we had nothing in our relationship worth fighting for then I would have just walked away, cried, and then got on with my life. But I think there’s omething worth saving. The question is, do you?”

“You know I do”

“But do you Bette? Is all this because you feel guilty for cheating when you know you shouldn’t have? Or do you really still love me?”

“I love you with all my heart. I never stopped loving you”

Tina’s heart jumped at Bette’s words. She knew her well enough to know when she was speaking the truth.

“You know, even that night I don’t think I stopped loving you” Tina said softly.

“Then we have something to fight for?” Bette held her breath.

“I think we do. When you held me tonight, I knew I couldn’t just walk away. But it isn’t going to be easy. Are you prepared for that?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes”

“Some days I’m gonna shout at you. I’ll block you out, I’ll make you feel like I don’t care. Can you deal with all that?”

“It’ll be hard” Bette admitted “but it’ll be worth it for the thought of you. I can’t live without you, T”

“I’m gonna do something really selfish now. Can you unfasten the chain?” Tina asked.

Bette complied and was soon standing face to face with Tina. They both noted each others tear stained cheeks, and took a moment to gaze into one anothers’ eyes. Tina’s lips parted slightly as she took in the sight of Bette before her.

Tina stepped into Bette and ran her hand softly down her cheek. She let her lips brush gently against Bette’s before pushing their mouths firmly together. They moaned as they tasted each other, their kiss a silent promise that they were both willing to try and make things work. All too soon, Tina pulled away and looked Bette in the eyes.

“I just needed you. I’m sorry, it was selfish” she apologised.

“You, more than anyone, have a right to be selfish”

“I’ll call you” Tina promised as she walked back out of the door.

“I’ll be waiting”

Bette closed the door behind Tina and raised a finger to her lips. For the first time in weeks she could taste Tina on them again. A smile spread across her face. It was just one kiss, but it gave her the chance to renew the hope that she thought had long gone.