Tina walked nervously to Bette’s car and took a deep breath before getting in. Bette was already gripping the steering wheel tightly as Tina fastened her seat belt. They glanced at each other before looking away.

“Tonight was…” Bette searched for the right words.

“I know”

“I can’t believe Alice set us up like that” Bette shook her head.

“You know she’s only trying to help”

“This is hardly the way to do it”

“Listen, tonight shouldn’t have happened. Can we just pretend it didn’t?” Tina asked.

“There’s a lot of things I’d like to pretend never happened”

“Don’t give me that *****. This is hardly the same thing” Tina hissed.

“So you can do whatever you want and then it can just be forgotten about, while I’m made to suffer for every little thing?” Bette raised her voice.

“***** someone else is hardly a little thing!” Tina yelled.

“But you kissing someone else is fine”

“Bette, I can kiss whoever I want. I’m a single woman thanks to you” Tina pointed out.

“*****” Bette slumped back in her seat, defeated.

“Just drive me home”

Bette started the engine and they drove in silence to Alice’s. She had so many things that she wanted to say, but everything just seemed to come out wrong and end in an argument. As she pulled over, she turned to look at Tina.

“This is crazy” Bette said quietly.

“Yeah, it is” agreed Tina.

“Have we changed so much that we can’t even have a civil conversation anymore?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who’s changed”

“Stop pretending. You’ve changed too you know” Bette argued.

“Really? How?” Tina stared out the window.

“You seem…stronger. And more confident”

“So before I was just some weak wife who did everything you told me to?”

“You know I didn’t mean that”

“I really thought you knew me” Tina whispered.

“What?”

“This” Tina looked at Bette “confidence. It’s all for show. Inside I’m falling apart”

“Don’t…”

“What, you can’t take the truth?”

“I can’t stand to see how much I hurt you” Bette whispered.

“Well I want you to see” Tina grabbed Bette’s chin and forced her to look at her “look into my eyes. What do you see?”

“Please” Bette begged.

“Look! Look at me! I’m a mess. I have been since that night. Every day it’s a struggle to even get out of bed. I cry so much that it feels like there’s no fluid left in me. And then I wonder if it was my fault”

“It wasn’t” a tear ran down Bette’s cheek.

“What did I do to make you stop loving me?”

“I never stopped loving you”

“Then why, Bette?” Tina dropped her hand, but they carried on staring at each other “Why did you do it?”

“I…you and me were in different places. We weren’t…connecting, you know? We stopped communicating, T”

“I guess we did” Tina conceded.

“We hadn’t had ***** since the insemination”

“Was it just about *****?”

“No…it was about…being with someone. Someone who made it clear that I was what they wanted” Bette explained.

“I wanted you” Tina said softly.

“You barely let me touch you”

Tina looked away in shame.

“T, things were going wrong long before I slept with Candace. Deep down you knew that too. We just both tried to ignore it”

“I know. I think I just hoped that things would get better. That I’d feel like you wanted to be with me again”

“I always wanted to be with you…I just…”

“It’s okay. I understand” Tina looked at Bette “When do you think it happened?”

“There was no exact moment. It just happened over time. We lost touch”

“I guess that’s true”

“I should have told you how I was feeling. If I could just turn back the clock…” Bette trailed off.

“But you can’t. And I should have been there for you. When you needed me I should have been there to hold you and show you that I still wanted you. But I was too wrapped up in…self pity, I suppose. But neither of us can change that now”

“Don’t blame yourself”

“Bette, it takes two people to make a marriage. And I believe it takes those same two people to break a marriage. We have to share the blame. Just because you did what you did, it doesn’t make me the one in the right”

“We messed up, didn’t we?”

“Yeah, I suppose we did” Tina conceded.

“Is there any way back from here?”

“I really don’t know, Bette” Tina whispered.

Tina looked at Bette and got out of the car. Bette watched her walk up the drive and sighed. She felt that they’d progressed this evening – for the first time they’d had a conversation that hadn’t ended badly. But there was still a long way to go.

As Tina reached the door, she felt she had to turn to look at Bette once more. She couldn’t explain why, but she managed to smile weakly at her. Fighting back tears, she stepped into Alice’s house.

Bette drove away contented. She wanted so much from Tina, but knew it was way too soon to ask for it. For now she was quite willing to settle for her smile.