Tina was not feeling that well. It was the third time in the two weeks since she found out she was pregnant that she was calling in sick. It was like her body just decided that now that it was official she should start having morning sickness.

Alice was worried, not because Tina was having the very normal morning sickness but because Tina was feeling guilty for being sick. Now that she was on her own she was putting lots of pressure on her shoulders.

Just after breaking up with Bette, Tina talked with Oscar letting him to know what was going on, telling him that as much as she loved working with him at the Centre she needed a real job. A real job? He said, this is a real job Tina, she added, smiling, knowing what she meant.

I guess is time we stop taking advantage of you and start paying you he said, smiling winking at her.

Tina could not believe her good luck, she loved working there and now that they were playing her there was no reason to go find another paying job.


But feeling sick was making Tina cranky and paranoid. She was feeling like she might not be able to take care of herself, doubts were killing her inside and were making feel even weaker.

Alice, always the observer, was worried and after much thinking about it decided to go and talk with her.
The ajar door to their room was showing Tina lying on bed, her bare arm covering her eyes, trying to give Tina the calm she needed.

Can I come in? Alice asked, not waiting for an answer, sitting down close to Tinas body.

Are you feeling any better Tee? As words were sweetly coming out, Alice was caressing Tinas free arm.

Tina was quiet, nodding from behind the safety net her arm was.
Alice was going to ask again when she felt Tinas body shivering, introducing a shy sob.

What is happening Tee? Are you sure you ok?

Alice was forcing Tina to look at her, sweetly removing the arm that was covering her tired eyes.

What? Alice question was pleading.

Im scare Al, what if?
What if what, Tee?

What if am not good enough for him? .
Him? Alices funny look stole a shy smile from Tinas face
..or her I cant lose my job Al, I need the money.

Job? Are you worried for your job? Look at me Tee, you wont lose your job, Oscar wont let you and in the worst scenario, if you ever do what do you think godmothers are for?

Tinas funny look made Alice rushed in her speech.

What? Did you think I was gonna let anyone else being this kid godmother? Of course notI told you, the baby needs me.. or will need me Alice said, winking at Tina, smiling.

“Al, thats very sweet but you dont have to make that commitment, am not your responsibility. I can take care of myself.

I know you do Tee. Why you think I was offering? It was a safe bet Alice again had the right answer, and the sweetest touch.

Just by saying, voicing her worries Tina was feeling better. She hated feeling, realizing how her hormones were playing with her, making her feel needy, something she hated the most.

You know Al, you are an angel pretending to be a snake.

Shhh, dont say it out loud, will ruin my reputation! Alice was messing Tinas hair, loving the look on her face.

As Tina was jumping off the bed Alice noticed how, even after crying, how beautiful she looked. Shed see that special glow on her face, on the look in her eyes.

Tee, wait (Alice said, already at her side, just on the frame of the door), am serious when I say I love you here. You are not alone here. I know am just a friend, but you are my family. This baby (placing her hand on Tinas belly) will be my family, and I dont want you ever again to doubt that all mine is yours

Tina was shaking her head and as she was going to say something Alice added,

If I were in trouble youd , dont even try to convince me of the contrary, youd sell your soul to help me. I know you would. So please (Alice took Tinas hand in hers), please, let me do that for you if you ever need it. Im sure you wont but I need to know you will let me

While nodding, unable to speak, Tina felt a single tear running down her cheek. Moving closer she put Alice into a hug, trying to show her, without words, all her love and thankfulness.

Btw Al, I feel is going to be a him Tina whispered, still hugging Alice tight.

As they moved apart Alice, looking at Tina in the eyes, asked,

Arent you going to tell Shane?

Tina could not stop a chuckle escaping her lips, walking to the kitchen said,

Like I dont know you already told her

What? (Alice was following Tinas pace) did she tell you?

Tina was pouring a glass of water, smiling.

She dindt say a word, she has just been even more attentive, if thats possible (looked at Alice), I just know you, you big mouth Alice

Am sorry Tee, I just, I just needed to share the great news with somebody Alices concern look made Tinas smile grow even bigger.

I know Al, is ok, really Leaning into her, Tina kissed her lightly on the cheek before walking to the living room.



Shane was on her way to Bettes house. She was getting use to have dinner with her almost every night. Bette was still pretty much in a very fragile state. She was pretending to be ok but just in the last week she lost weight, much enough to be quite visible.

Shane didnt ask how it all ended with carpenter girl, and Bette didnt offer to share.
Shane noticed, the night Bette called to invite her for dinner, that the house looked smaller. It was not just the absence of all of Tinas things, her touch and her scent.The small details that they all took for granted for so long and that always made the house warm, and welcoming.
She also noticed that being in the house without Tina felt like being in a cold aseptic room.
Shane realized just then, the deep hole, how lost Betted be feeling because if she, that was not in love with Tina could feel so much, what Bette was feeling Shane imagined was probably killing her inside.

Bette said it quite well that night on the road, Tina was her life, her light, her home.
Bette without Tina was like the moon without the sun, there was no point. Its only reflected light. She needed the sun to have a reason to be alive. Bette was a cold beautiful moon but she needed the sun to truly shine and survive. And Tina was her sun.