What Bette Wants……

WHAT BETTE WANTS

Its only been a few hours since Tina left. Bette is sitting in the dark in the family room attempting to gather her thoughts. Her solitude forces her to deal with here emotions.

Why did I do it?
Was I being selfish?
Why was I so reckless with the feelings of Tina and Candace?
Why did I give up the truth so easily?
Why was I so careless?

Her arrogance was able to answer that question. Im far too intelligent to let that happen on purpose. I think subconsciously, I wanted to get caught, but why? More questions flooded in her head.

Did I feel trapped, smothered or just plan tired? GEE!!! What am I doing sitting here in the dark, talking to myself and I acting like a damn fool!!!

Bette takes a deep breath in an attempt to gather some control of the situation. Thinking to herself. Okay, she begins to pace the floor.

What I want to do and what Im expected to do are two separate things. I feel bad for hurting Tina, but Im glad I met Candace. I would also like to get to know her better. Thats a problem. I cant have my cake and eat it too or can I?

NEXT MORNING:
Bette continues the conversation with herself. Sending flowers when I screwed-up is always so superficial, but if I dont, it will appear as if I wasnt going to try and reconcile. I know that Tina stayed with Alice last night. Ill send the roses there. Tina wouldnt go to Danas since Tonya is there.

Ill get her back!!!! In the meantime Ill..

OVER AT ALICES PLACE:
Alice opens the door to see this cute delivery person. She stands in the entry way and begins to flirt. After a few minutes she has a phone number and a date for Friday. Tina walks from the kitchen to witness the tail-end of Alices seduction.

Tina smiled when she asked Alice. Flowers already? I know youre good but gee. A giggle ensued.

Hot, Hot, Hot!!! Alice responded. But the flowers arent for me, they are for you. The smile Tina had on her face quickly turned somber. How dare she!!! Tina takes the flowers and reads the card aloud. Baby, I am SO sorry. I will always love you. I will do what ever it takes to make this work!! Love Always

Alice, can you throw these away for me? I cant stand the sight off them!!

BACK TO BETTE:
Bette grabs her cell phone. Hello. I just wanted to call and umm Umm

Come on, spit it out. The voice on the other end of the phone responded.

Umm I need to take a break from everything for a few days. Umm Umm

Okay with the Umms. Whats wrong?

Bette replied in a soft voice. Tina found out yesterday. I broke her heart and I feel like *****. Im not ready to face anyone. Nor am I ready to hear the ton of questions and pieces of advice. I just need to escape.

Candace said in a very sincere voice. Im sorry. Is there anything I could do?

Yes, you could come with me.

Uh Candace was very surprised by the statement and was taken completely off guard. Are you sure you want me to tag along?

Yes. Very much so. Clear youre schedule for the next three days. Im ringing your bell in one hour. Be ready.

CANDACES PLACE

When you say an hour, you mean it. She showered Bette with that smile. The smile Bette had trouble resisting. Do you want to come in?

Bette replied, No, just grab your bag and lets go. I have something to show you. You know you never asked me where we were going. Why?

Some things in life you can not and should not plan. Half the fun is letting your guard down and going with the mood. I trust you Bette. I trust that you would not chop me up and leave me in the woods. Candace continues to smile. We are getting away to relax, so try and do just that. Let it flow.

Gotcha!! Bette proceeds through the front door, stokes Candaces cheek and slowly moves toward her. Each step leads to a faster heartbeat and deeper breaths. Candace looks into Bettes eyes. The anticipation is killing her. Who turned the heat on!!! The blood seemed to rush straight to her head.

The anticipation was satisfied when Candace felt her lips on Bettes. Numerous places on her body began to tingle. The kiss deepened and Candace found her hand under Bettes shirt stroking her back. Her touch had ignited Bettes senses this led to a very subtle moan.

Candace starts to direct Bette towards the couch despite being connected by the lips. The passion increases with each moan. Candace slips Bettes shirt over her head and continues to caress her body. She reaches around Bettes back to remove her bra.

Whoa! Okay. Now you see why I didnt want to come in Bette gathers her shirt and smiles at Candace. Were going to missing our fl She pauses.

Our what? Candace replied.

*****!! You got me off kilter and I was trying to keep it a surprise. There is a really nice bed and breakfast in San Francisco. I know you like B&Bs, so were going.

Aw, that is so sweet. Its also a nice, relaxing drive up there.

Bettes facial expression said it all. If the drive is more than three hours, Im getting in a plane. Let get out of here.

LATER THAT EVENING AT ALICES

Tina hasnt moved from the couch all day. Alice sits next to her and holds her hand. Come on get up and Ill take you to dinner. The door bell rings.

Tina, it was different delivery person, but the flowers are still for you. Alice holds the flowers and passes Tina the card.

I know that you need time and space. Ill give you whatever you need. Just remember, all I need is you. These flowers are a symbol of the love I have for you. Please dont throw either away. Love Always.

She looks up at Alice and said Just sit them down. Where do you want to go for dinner?

ALICE AND TINA AT THE COPA

I figured that a few margaritas and a couple of shots of tequila would go well with dinner. Alice looks around for a server to get at least the first round.

Thanks. I didnt want to go to the Planet. I just didnt want to take the chance in running into her. Alice, I never asked you and if you dont want to tell me, Ill understand. Why did you and Bette break-up?

Hey, no problem. I love when she opens up and expresses herself. You know how passionate she is and how safe she makes you feel. She is a take charge kind of woman and very protective of the people she cares about.

The first round arrives at the table.

The problems came when she wanted to take charge of everything. Also, I had a problem with her focus. her focus on Bette. When she was in that frame of mind nothing else matter. It was ALL about Bette. She made it seem like what I did was so trivial. I hated that… Tina, dont take this the wrong way, but I never stopped loving Bette and know I never will. We just werent meant to be together. I see how you and Bette are together and its truly magical.

The ladies toast and drink the first shot. Why? Tina murmured in dismay.

Why? Why regarding what point? Alice looked very confused.

Tina motioned to the server for another shot. Why would she cheat? Why? I thought we were happy. We lost the baby, but we were getting through that.

Tina, give yourself some time. Then you have to talk to Bette and ask her.

BETTE AND CANDANCE IN SAN FRANCISO AIRPORT

Bette with complete confidence says Now isnt a plane ride much better than driving up here? We are renting a car and can ride through the countryside tomorrow if you want

Yes, you were right the plane was a better mode of transportation. A smile ensued.

Sweetie, I love that smile of yours. Bette surprised herself with the comment. Calling Candace Sweetie? It rolled off her tongue so easily. *****!!!!

While Bette was engulfed with her Freudian slip, Candace reaches for her hand. You give me a very good reason to smile.

I understand what you mean. I feel the same way. Bette squeezed Candaces hand. Its so easy to talk to you. I feel like I can talk to you about anything. Its like you get me and I like it.

They spoke about their past relationships and experiences. Both were surprised about how much they had in common. You know I got so tired of trying to fit in with my own family. I came to the conclusion I just had to be Bette. My moms family saw me one way and my dads other. One of my Uncles was a Black Panther. Image the tension. My mom hated being around my dads family. I believe that is one of the reasons that they are not together.

Yeah, I know. At first, my uncles were not happy that mom married a Black man. Through time things improved. My dad speaks Spanish fluently. He took the time to understand my moms family traditions. Candace paused. An angry expression ensued. Yolanda NEVER tried to learn Spanish. It was as she only wanted to acknowledge only part of who I was.

This point really hit close to home for Bette. All of those arguments she had with Tina. She did not feel so isolated with the comment Candace made.

Candace continued by saying Do I look that one dimensional? *****!! I always have folks wanting to pick and choose those parts of me that they want to accept!! Stop trying to sum me up in a sentence. I can not be placed in any category, so stop ***** trying!!!

I know how you feel. It would infuriate me when I expressed similar feelings to Tina and her response would be It would be okay Baby. She just didnt understand. I cant fault her for that. But with all that said, lets get back to the relaxing part of our trip.

Thats right. You have something to show me. I cant wait to see.

BETTE AND MARINA AT THE PLANET

Marina, I am sooo sorry. Bette slurs her words and picks the bottle of wine to top off her drink. *****!!!

Bette. Stop apologizing to me. I know how it is when you act upon physical attraction without taking into consideration the consequences of these acts. Do you want another bottle of wine?

Yeah, I think I could use another. I feel like a ***** hypocrite. The first time I met Tina, she was with this guy named Eric. It was instant attraction and I went after what I wanted. Tina broke it off with Eric before anything really happened between us, butbut

But you still like *****.

Bette replied with a head nod. Is this a pattern for me? I love Tina. I really do, but… Her intoxication is becoming more apparent. Sometimes I feel that we are together because we have seven years vested in this relationship. This is not a good foundation for a relationship.

Marinas facial expression validated Bettes comment. Ive fallen out of love with Francescia, but we remain together. She knows me so well. Shes my comfort blanket. Its hard to shed that security. When I met Jenny, I felt alive again. I lost all control.

I would never say that Ive fallen out of love with Tina. She is my best friend. That is one of the best characteristics in a relationship. I can talk to her about anything. Bette thought about her last comment. Was she lying to herself?

You can talk to her about anything? Marina responded in disbelief. Then why didnt you talk to her about how you were feeling.

Bette avoided the question and stated. I think Im going to get out of here.

Marina drops the subject. Let me take you home. Weve gone through a couple of bottles and you had more than I.

No. Ill be okay. Bette stands and gets a bit light headed. Okay, maybe you should drop me off. Ill get my car tomorrow. Thanks

IN FRONT OF BETTE AND TINAS HOUSE

Thanks Marina.

Hey Bette, remember, dont matter how hard you try, you can only avoid the truth for so long. Eventually, you are going to have to be honest with yourself.

Bette just stared at Marina.

Goodnight, Bette.

Bette waved.

THE NEXT MORNING

James, Im not feeling well today. Call me if anything comes up. Ill give you a buzz this afternoon. Bette rolls over and goes back to sleep.

Later in the morning, the phone rings. Bette glances at the clock then picks up the phone. Hello It was easy to hear how hoarse she was.

Hey. I called your office and James said that you werent feeling well. Are you okay? Tina was very sincere and concerned considering this was the first time they spoke since their confrontation over two weeks ago.

I had too much wine last night and you know what that does to me. Bette sits up and tries to shake the cobwebs off.

Yeah, I know. You didnt drive like that did you? Her question had a motive.

No. Marina dropped me off and I left me car at the Planet.

A sight of relief came over Tina. She was relieved that Bette was not with Candace. Ill come by and get you so you can pick-up your car. Then we can come back to the house and talk.

Okay. Give me about an hour. Like 10ish. Bette was in no mood to talk. She felt that there were so many issues she had to contend with before talking to Tina. However, if she did not take Tina up on her invitation, she might not have another chance.

Bette laid back in an attempt to get her thoughts together. She closed her eyes and recalled the first time she made love to Tina. In an instant, she recounted her trip to San Francisco with Candace. Candace, Candace, Candace.. *****!!!!! Why cant I get this mother-***** woman out of my head!?!!

A tap on her shoulder woke Bette out of her sleep. Bette, it is 10:30 and youre still not up. I thought you were going to be ready.

Ah, Tina. Im sorry. Bette jumps up and heads to the bathroom. Ill be ready in a minute.

Im tired of the Im sorrys from her Tina said to herself.

The trip to the Planet was full of tension. Bette was relieved to get into her own car, but did not look forward to getting to the house.

Tina sat on the couch. Tears started to stream down her face. She looked at Bette. It hurts every time I look at you. You were the last person in the world that I thought would hurt me. I gave you my heart, soul and body. And you threw it away. Her sobbing intensifies. How could you? Bette headed toward her to comfort her, but Tina motioned her to stop. I deserve an answer!

Bettes facial expression was as if she was clueless about the situation.

Goddamn it!!! Dont look at me like that. Answer me!

Tina, the last think I wanted to do was hurt you. Im sorry. Tears begin to run down Bettes face.

IM SORRY!!! IM SORRY!!!!…. Tina stands and pointed directly at Bette. Im tried of your Im sorrys Its ***** pathetic! I want to know why?

Bette was still uncertain of her actions. She knew that Tina was right as far as deserving an answer but still remained helpless regarding a response. I take sole responsibility for everything.

Dont you dare defend that *****!!!

Im not defending anyone, I just taking accountability for my actions. There is no one to blame but me. I love you Tina.

Bullshit!!! If you loved me why did you hurt me? You dont even know, do you?

No, I dont.

Well, you need to find out. When you are able to come to me with the answer to that question, maybe, just maybe, we can move on.

Bette looks at the floor then at Tina. She hesitated in fear of her reply. Tell me Tina, do you still love me?

When you are able to answer my question, I will answer yours. Tina begins to walk towards the door. She stops on the porch and looks back at Bette.

Ill call you soon. Bette reaches forward and gives Tina a kiss. The affection was accepted and briefly returned. Seven years was a long time. Tina didnt have to answer Bettes question in words. She did it at that moment with that kiss.

CANDACE IN HER CAR

Thinking of Bette, Candace says to herself. So youre not feeling well today. Lets see what I can do about that. She picks up her cell phone to let Bette know she wanted to stop and see her. It was more of a courtesy call more than anything. She was only a block away. The phone rings as she approached the house. She saw Bette kissing Tina on the porch. Son-of-a-*****!!! Sick my *****!!!

Candace wipes her tears and drives home with all kinds of thoughts going through her head. How could I be that off base about Bette and how she was feeling?

She pulls into her driveway and a FedEx truck pulls right behind her with a delivery. She opens the package to find an antique pocket watch. After reading the enclosed note, a slight smirk comes over her face. I dont believe her…

CANDACES HOME

Mikela, I am so glad that you picked up your phone. Candace sighted and began her story. I drove by Bettes to see her kissing Tina.

I tried warning you about putting yourself in that position. Mikelas tone was very stern but concerned.

Thats not what I want to hear. I think I was really falling for her. The last time I felt this wayIIwaswith Candace tries to talk through her tears. And then she sent me a watch for our anniversary.

Anniversary? Youre not making any sense now. Do you want me to come over there?

Please.

AN HOUR PASSES AND THE DOOR BELL RINGS

Thanks for coming. Candace reaches for Mikela and gives her a hug. Her friend consoling her, led to a pouring of emotions. Stepping back, Candace wipes her face and passes Mikela the note that came with the watch.

Sunshine, I hope you remembered what today is. Ten years ago today, we decided to be together forever. Life doesnt always work out that way we plan. You will always have a special place in my heart. I still have the same number. Call me. I would love to see you. -Doc

Miriam?

Yes, who else did you ever here me call Doc? Candace got the note back from Mikela and just shook her head. I didnt mean to snap. She still does something to me.

Miriam Santiago was a second year resident when she met Candace. Their relationship developed slowly. They remained friends for a rather long time. Both were in and out of relationships, but nothing felt quite right. When Miriam finished her residency and got a job at Good Samaritan Medical Center, friends decided to throw her a party.

The party was a blast and a few folks went back to Miriams place. They sat on the floor to play questions. The object of the game is to response to a question with a different question. No question is ever answered. If it is, then the person must take a shot. After a few rounds of questions things got a bit steamy.

Mikela, its your turn. Linda pours another shot.
Mikela: (looking at Miriam) Do you think Candace is cute?

Miriam and Candace increased their flirting.
Miriam (looking at Candace): Do you like my breast?
Candace: Do you want to lick my nipples?
Miriam: Can I lick you ***** too?

Giggling consumed the room

Candace: Will you satisfy me? Candace had a devilish look on her face.
Miriam: Will you let me satisfy you?
Candace: Yes

Everyone laughs. Thats not a question. Mikela passes Candace the shot. Candace takes the shot, then reaches over and kisses Miriam.

Miriam stands and begins to give out hugs. Well, thanks guys for everything. Drive safety.

Ah, youre throwing everyone but Candace out?

Yup. Love ya. Peace.

Candace. Candace! Mikela attempts to bring her friend back to the present. Why would Miriam contact you now?

I dont know. She was truly my first love.

If you didnt feel so neglected, do you think you would still be together?

Candace replied with confidence. Yes, but I thought I found someone who we could really build something together.

Candace.

Before you even say anything, I know pursuing a relationship with Bette is not healthy. The phone rings. Yes. What do you want?

I wanted to see if you would go to dinner with me. Bettes timing couldnt be any worse. Is everything okay?

Everything is fine. Im really busy. Let me call you later.

Mikela looks at Candace. Just be careful.

AT BETTES HOUSE

What was that about? Bette looks at the phone completely confused. *****, she sounds pissed. I really needed to see her tonight. If she doesnt call soon, Ill call to check on her.

Bette sits on the couch and attempts to process the events over the last few months. I know that Tina and I were starting to drift apart over the last year. The baby was an attempt to keep us together. We could focus on the baby and not our own problems. There was something missing in our relationship and replacing it with a baby was not going to fix it. I know that now.

The spark Tina and I once had, had gone dim. She worked long hours and I wasnt happy. She quit her job so we could have a baby and I wasnt happy. She began to volunteer and I wasnt happy. I just wasnt happy. Would I have stayed in the relationship if Candace hadnt come along or would I have remained unhappy?

Do I really care about Candace or is she an escape from all of my problems?

KITS CONDO

Hey, baby sis. Its been a while since you let me cook for you. Kit chuckled and looked over at Bette. She wasnt even smiling. Give it some time. Shes been hurt.

Uh, what are you talking about Kit? I wasnt thinking about Tina. Bette goes to the refrigerator and grabs two bottles of water.

Girr, you have it bad.

Bette passes Kit one of the bottles. Ive called her all week long and she hasnt returned any of my calls. I cant focus at work because I think about her constantly. I think about her walk, her lips, her touch… She has a smile that can light up a room. A grin comes across Bettes face. She has a way of making me feel serene. I love that she doesnt always agree with me, but takes the time to understand my point of view.

Yeah, you really have it bad.

I know. I havent even tried to call Tina. Things between us are just so gloomy and it is entirely my fault. She tried her best to make me happy, but I wasnt. It should not have come to this. Bette hesitates and looks at Kit. Everything was going down hill between Tina and me. In the meanwhile, I cant get Candace off my mind. Bette leans forward in the chair, puts her hands over her face and shakes her head.

Kit walks over and rubs Bettes back. Follow your heart.

I poured my heart out and thats all you have to say? Bette stands up, throws her hands in the air and looks at Kit with complete amazement.

Baby sis, you already know what to do. You just have admit it to yourself

FIVE STAR FRENCH RESTURANT

This is a nice place. Im impressed. Candace glanced in Miriams eyes and smiled.

Miriam smiles back. That smile of yours still lights up a room. Sunshine still fits you well.

You still know how to make me blush. Candace finds herself looking around at the carpentry workmanship. The Wayne-Scott moldings were faultless and the archways added just enough of that extra character.

You still do the same thing when you enter a room like this. Miriam smirks. Yes, the wood is nice, but Im over here.

Sorry, Doc. Its one of those habits. And Im looking at the workmanship, not the wood silly. Candace just laughed.

It did not take long for Candace and Miriam to get back in their old comfort zone. They chatted about old times and caught up on current events. Candace sat back in her chair. Dinner was great. Thanks.

I am so glad that you called. Ive been thinking about you a lot lately. Im sorry that I let you walk out of my life. You were absolutely right; I had time for everyone else in the world but you. I took you for granted and I regret it. I hope you can forgive me.

I have. Candace reached for Miriams hand. Lets have a drink at my place.

BACK AT CANDACES

Come on in. I never told you how beautiful you looked tonight. You want a glass on Pinot noir. Right? Candace picks up the bottle for Miriam to view.

Ah, so you think you know so much. Tonight, Ill have a merlot with you. Miriam had a very mischievous expression.

Candace smiled. No, you think YOU know so much. You know what merlot does to me. She begins to giggle.

I was counting on that.

After a couple of glasses, Candace begins to feel the effects of the wine. She moved toward Miriam and positioned her head on her lap. Ive always loved the time we just cuddled on the couch. No plans, no parties, no eventsjust us. Candace reaches up and kisses Miriam.

Miriam embraces the kiss and pulls Candace towards her. Humm, you still have great shoulders. Miriam begins to rub them.

And you still have great hands. The kissing intensified. Using her left hand, Miriam starts to unbutton Candaces shirt and reaches to fondle her breast. Candace counters with a moan.

Miriam has Candace on her back with her shirt off. She kisses and caressing every inch of her torso. Using her tongue she gently flicks her nipple. UhBett Candace froze.

Miriam gets up and looks at Candace. What did you say?

Umm. Candace is flushed. Guilt was written all over her face. She looked at Miriam and shrugged her shoulders.

Damn it!!! And you still cant lie to me. I never asked you if you were seeing anyone, but thought you would have told me if you were.

Candace replied in a very gentle voice. Im not seeing anyone. She sat Miriam down and explained the situation to her. Weve never had a problem with honesty in our relationship and I dont want that to change now.

Well, it sounds like you have some healing to do. Take your time, I wont be far. If you need anything call me. I love you. Miriam kissed Candace and left.

Candace grabs a pillow and pulls it into her face. *****!!!! *****!!! *****!!! I thought spending time with Miriam would help me get over Bette. *****!! Shes right; this is something I need to do on my own. She pours herself some more wine and plops in front of the television.

Twenty minutes later the door bell rings. I know I should have turned off all the lights. Im in no mood to talk to anyone. Candace gets up to answer the door. She opens it to see Bette standing there looking at her with those beautiful brown eyes.

Hey. Can I come in?

Candace moves aside to let Bette pass. What do you need? Her words were cold and unemotional. Are you here for a quick *****? Im not in the mood.

Bette stands in front of Candace looking as if she was being accused of something that she did not do. What?! Thats not why Im here.

You know Bette; Im tired of your *****!!! Its not ALL about Bette Porter. Did you even think about my feelings in all of this? You tell me one thing and then you do something else. You cant have it both ways! The other day, I saw you kissing Tina. You dont owe me anything, but I wont put myself in a bad position. Her voice softened. Not even for you.

I WAS with this woman for seven years. You cant expect me to easily disconnect from the relationship. She wanted and deserved answers. And through this process, I discovered that I didnt love Tina the way I had in the past. This was the last day that I saw or even spoken to her.

Well tell me this What does Bette want?

What I want, what I REALLY want is you. Bette leans forward and kisses Candace.

–rdp

Did Bette really discover what she wanted?
Can Candace trust Bette with her heart?
Does Candace still love Miriam?
Will Tina fight for the relationship or will she move on?

Fan Fiction

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What Bette Wants……

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