Tree weeks later

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Life is based on what choices you make. Life is just the consequences of your believes and actions. Life is supposed to make you choose something… anything. But for us, Shrats… that is not the case.

We don’t choose… choices are made for us everyday and we don’t have a say in it. We are the ants, and we are there for them to step on us.

I’m sick of seeing my people suffer the consequences of their choices… I want to make my own. I want to fucking choose.

It’s been tree weeks since I last saw her… well them. I haven’t seen Jenny or the striper… I don’t like calling her that… I think her name is Carmen… because I heard the other girls calling her that… so for now I’m gonna call her that. Carmen… she looks like a Carmen thou…

Jenny she… she picked her clothes wile we were on the other side doing our job. She didn’t show up for work the next day and when we got home all her stuff were missing. I really don’t care you know… She lived with us for tree years; never talked and then we find out that she’s like… a killer and shit. It’s just too weird.

You know I’ve been thinking… I’ve been thinking about the fact that I don’t… I don’t want to keep living like this… I don’t want to keep working in a fucking circus doing freaking magic shows, looking like a freak, for a living. Everyone has a purpose and I don’t think mine is to look stupid for a living. I feel like I can do something…

I’m at Mommy’s again… I’ve been here every night after the accident. Every, freaking, night. I just can’t get what happened out of my mind… I can’t stop thinking of every second that went by. And I can’t help feel stupid for doing nothing… oh wait, I did something… I past away.

I want to see them again… I want to actually see them in action, rather that hiding behind a table… I want action in my life. I want danger…I know its stupid considering I passed out and all, but… I kind of liked the feeling I had that day…