..later that night – which is the night after Bettes arrival back from New York

Bette brushed past Tina and headed for the bathroom. Tina caught her hand Babe, you cant avoid it forever..just tell me..

Tell you what? said Bette feigning ignorance, hoping to buy a little more time.

About New York..the job..what happened? Tina looked into Bettes eyes asking wordlessly for honesty.

Give me a minute..let me brush my teeth then well talk. Bette walked into the bathroom and took her time. She still wasnt sure what she was going to say but she was determined to do her best to tell Tina what she was thinking; Tina deserved that.

Bette was deep in thought when she looked up and saw Tinas face in the mirror – it radiated frustration and worry. Its OK T, Ill be there in a minute..dont worry she said softly.

Bette looked down, washed her toothbrush under the tap and put it away and when she looked up again Tina was gone. Had she imagined it?

She walked into the bedroom and found Tina sitting up in bed, her knees bent, arms wrapped around them and a frown on her face. Bette smiled trying to reassure Tina, knowing that she hadnt imagined the scene in the bathroom. She went over and kissed Rosie aware that Tinas eyes were watching all her movements. She didnt want to worry Tina further but she wasnt prepared to go to sleep without saying goodnight to Rosie.

She walked slowly back to the bed, climbed in and sat up next to Tina, took Tinas hand and laced their fingers. She lifted their hands, kissed the back of Tinas hand and then placed it on her knee.

Tina pulled back her hand, grabbed a pillow from behind her and whacked Bette with it. Stop teasingand get on with it.. she said, her face and voice mirroring the mixture of anxiety and laughter which were fighting within her.

Bette laughed, wrestled the pillow from Tinas hand, and mimed throwing it off the bed then relented and gave it back to her. OKOK..no more stalling.. Where to start? Well let me say up front that they didnt actually offer me a job. She looked up at Tina, took her hand again. They were interested though, indicated they might put something together tailored especially for me Bette sighed, stroked Tinas palm with her thumb and focused on their hands rather than Tinas face. Not a directors job, something more specialized than what Im doing now, a challenge ..but in a different way.

Bette stared into the distance You know, if Id left the CAC after Provocations I think I could almost have named my job – but 2 years is a long time and Peggy Peabody isnt around to support me now- so Id almost have to start again.. and Im not sure I want to do that.

Bette focused on Tinas eyes and brushed Tinas cheek with her finger. She moved her finger over to Tinas lips when she could see that Tina was about to speak Let me finish. Bette shifted a little I love you and Ive already stuffed up badly once.

Tina squeezed Bettes hand Babe its..

Bette shook her head Please let me finish.. I need to say this OK?

Tina nodded her head and didnt say anything more.

As I said, I stuffed up badly and yet youre here with me and were good arent we? Tina nodded when she saw Bettes eyes on her, asking for reassurance.

And we have our beautiful Rosie .. Bettes voice wavered as she spoke quietly, almost to herself and I love her so much.

Her voice steadied as she suddenly realized shed made her decision and she knew what she wanted to say Im not prepared to give any of that up. You cant be in New York with me and I cant be in New York and have you here with Rosie. Its not what I promised you and its not what I want. I want to share Rosies first steps and her first words. I want to be here when you need me. I want to participate in everything that goes with being a family.

The tension left Tinas body. Shed tried to be encouraging and supportive but all she felt now was relief. She looked into Bettes eyes Are you sure its what you want?

Bette nodded, certain now Yes..Im ..sure she said between kisses.

So, what are you going to do? Tina said tentatively.

I dont know. Bette shrugged I have to think about it. I want another challenge but I dont want to be away from home any more than I am already. Ive been wondering about starting a program with UCLA. I think I have an eye for spotting raw talent. Maybe I could work with the students in some way.

Tina wasnt sure Bette would have the patience to teach but she was pleased Bette was looking for solutions to her problems closer to home.

Bette turned her light out and pulled Tina down beside her. Tina lay in Bettes arms her head cradled on Bettes breast. Bette reached out a finger and pushed back Tinas hair, looped it back behind her ears. Bette knew it had almost become a habit for her, a signal that there were important thoughts to convey.

She moved so their bodies touched full length and leant in and kissed Tina softly. She hooked her right leg over Tinas and pulled gently, forcing Tina to move her leg across Bettes so they lay with their legs interweaved. Bette leaned back a little, saw tears spilling down Tinas face Hey..whats wrong? Are you OK? she said softly kissing the tears away.

Tina just nodded her head and buried her face deeper into Bettes breast. Bette held her closer. Im sorry I scared you I needed to wait for my head to catch up with what my hearts always known.

Bette slowly and gently caressed Tinas body with her hands and then her lips. She cradled Tina; felt her relax in her arms. Bette took it slowly, knowing there was no urgency; she had years to show this amazing woman how much she loved her.

TBC