~~~~~

Spring, 2008 – Dr. Foxworthy’s office, afternoon

     “A lot has happened in the past three years.”

     Patient and therapist smiled at the Understatement of the Decade. Bette let out a nervous laugh.

     “Yeah.”

     “And you’re back together. Again.”

     The seed of doubt had been planted. Bette shifted in her seat, trying to quell her inherent defensiveness.

     “That’s why we decided to start therapy with you. Again. Before we take the next step.”

     Dr. Foxworthy mentally noted the gibe and continued on, nonplussed. “The last time you were here, you said you weren’t sure if you wanted to get back with Tina. I don’t think that was resolved by her moving back in so your child could have a home.”

     “No,” she admitted. “We lasted a few months and things got worse. It ended pretty badly. I tried to move on, but … ” Bette bit her lip and shrugged, then simply, “She’s the love of my life. If we – if it didn’t work this time – I don’t think I could take it.”

     Bette stared at him plaintively, not bothering to hide her tears. Dr. Foxworthy assessed her quiet anguish for a moment.

     “It’s clear how much you love Tina. And I can see that you want her back in your life. But have you truly forgiven each other? Have you reached an understanding of what transpired in the past? Are you both willing to open up and explore why you failed each other?”

~~~~~

     On their first night back together, Tina told her to let go and cry out for her.

     And with that utterance, the years of denial and abnegation fell away when she came and released a crude scream. In Tina’s arms, half-sobbing and gasping for air, Bette confessed that she loved her – that she had always loved her – and how badly she wanted this to happen. They made love several times afterwards, and in those languorous hours, Bette thought she could never come like that again, but she did.

     She recalled when they first had sex after the affair. In truth, she had resented Tina’s newfound confidence and freedom, but now … she welcomed it, embraced it, reveled in it. Her boldness excited her to new heights. She no longer felt the presence of another woman: she only felt Tina and the unrestrained purity and love that she gave to her, and only to her.

     Bette had fought to maintain control for so long, always striving to make the right decision. She thought she was acting correctly by suppressing that pull, the attraction to Tina – not realizing that she had tried and failed to recreate it with Jodi. But where was the choice? She forgot that love had found her nearly a dozen years ago, and when it did, it was like a small apocalypse: it opened her heart, her life, and she was never the same after she fell for Tina. And then she ran from her, never knowing why.

     Beside her, Tina stirred with a soft sigh. All of these things went through her mind as Bette reached out for her …

~~~~~