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First, Last, & Forever? (Version 2.0 – Chapter 3)
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CHAPTER 3
Tina stood up from Dr. Wilson’s examination table and started getting dressed. God, how she hated those awful paper gowns.
“So, is everything really okay?” Tina asked, trying to hide the trace of hesitation in her voice.
“Yes, everything is fine.” Dr. Wilson replied with a reassuring smile. “The incision has healed nicely. There’s a normal amount of scar tissue, everything looks good. There’s really no reason you can’t get back to your normal life, and no reason you should need to see me again anytime soon.”
Tina was relieved, but her memories of those times now flashed through her mind, and she understood why Bette was so somber earlier. She knew she could have died that day, when her fever hit 105 degrees and she lost consciousness. But she lived to see her little Angelica, and finally she and Bette were working on being a real family. It hadn’t been easy, and so much had happened in such a short time. She and Bette were just starting to re-connect when Melvin got sick. Then Bette lost her job at the CAC, and the baby came. She and Bette still haven’t had any time to themselves. But hopefully that would change soon.
“Tina, are you okay?”
“Sorry, Dr. Wilson. I was just thinking about Bette. She’s going to be really happy to hear that you said I’m in good shape. She’s been worried, you know.” Tina tilted her head and raised her eyebrow as if to downplay her partner’s worries.
“Not without good reason. You gave all of us a pretty good scare. But you have a happy, healthy baby. You’re healthy, too.” Dr. Wilson smiled. “And I’m happy to see you and Bette together again, by the way.” Tina believed that Dr. Wilson meant it, and had seen all the positive changes they both had made, individually and together.
“I’m happy, too.” Tina agreed. “Oh. Speaking of Bette…” Tina hesitated for a second. “When you say ‘normal life,’ does that mean…” her voice trailed off again as she bit down nervously on her lower lip.
Dr. Wilson knew what she was asking, but she prodded Tina a little further.
“Are you asking me if it’s alright for you to start having sex again?” Dr. Wilson smiled as she said this, and Tina grinned sheepishly.
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking you.” Tina rolled her eyes.
“Tina, it’s perfectly normal to be unsure about that. You’re fairly well-healed at this point, so there’s no physical reason to wait any more. Only you know if you’re ready emotionally. You’ve been through a lot, and your body has changed dramatically. It’s understandable that you’d be a little unsure.” Dr. Wilson gently assured her.
“I think I am ready. I don’t know. I wish I didn’t have this big giant scar, and I wish I was in better shape, but I don’t think it makes a difference to Bette.” Tina tried to sound convincing, but her words fell flat.
“Is it really Bette you are worried about? Or are you more worried about it yourself?” Dr. Wilson probed.
Tina thought about this for a second. She really wasn’t sure. She knew Bette had first paid attention to her because she was beautiful. She never doubted Bette’s attraction to her, even during those years when Bette worked too much, and they had had hardly a sex life to speak of. Then Candace happened, and for the first time, Tina didn’t know if Bette still wanted her. Tina felt that she had failed both Bette and their unborn son when she miscarried. She knew she had failed Bette when Bette found her comfort with someone else. Tina was so lost in these thoughts that she barely heard Dr. Wilson talking to her.
“Well, I, for one, don’t think you have anything to worry about. I’ve seen the way Bette looks at you. She is more in love with you now than ever.” Dr. Wilson always seemed to know exactly what to say.
“Yeah, I think you’re right about that. She does love me, and I love her. I’m going to have this scar forever, so we both will have to get used to it.” Tina wasn’t quite convinced that she would get used to it, but she didn’t doubt for a second that Bette would hardly notice it.
(To Be Continued…)
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Don’t think I read this one so I’m glad to see such a good reposting schedule.
I am enjoying this very much. I hope Bette gets to show Tina how much she loves her and how she doesn’t give a frick about her scar soon.
Tina just needs some good Bette lovin to remind her that she’s still wicked hot, scar and all. PPS!!
Tina needs to feel the looooove..yeah…yeah…dats it..bring it on………….
Steph I loved this chapter. What really moved me most was how Tina was so self conscious about something that in reality, was more about her own self esteem, than the rejection from Bette. It’s so very true, that sometimes we can find ourselves being self critical, and although that can be a result of the company we keep, most times its what we put on ourselves. Here we see just that. Tina is being self critical of herself because of herself, not because of Bette. She admits that Bette loves her the way she is and likely wouldn’t pay much attention to the scar. Truth be told, those that love us for every part of us, results in a partnership, relationship, or marriage with incredibly deep feelings that can’t be matched anywhere else. Thanks for bringing sensitive topics to the surface in such a delicate way. PPS!
So glad you brought this story back.
You were so sweet to let Tina talk about o her feeling about the scar. That scar is why they have a beautiful child. Tina shouldn’t have doubts about Bette loving her that come with out a doubt Bette will love her till she draws her last breath. thanks
I think you should double up on these chapters because one and one-half pages is just not enough! …I can enlarge the font by myself, I’m just too lazy! Thanks!
I just hope Tina talks to Bette about she is feeling. Maybe then a little lovin. Great Update!!!! Thanks PPS
I don’t remenber if I read this one before but it look familiar and glad I have a change to read it now and like it. Now let B&T have some loving and Bette can show Tina how much she love her. Please post more, thanks!
At least this chapter made it to the second page! lol It seems that Tina’s insecurities are running rampant, so I’m glad that Dr. Wilson is wise and sensitive enough to help her keep it in perspective. Great story, Steph–PPVS!
Well, giving birth is always a big change in a woman’s life, even more when it’s through caesarean… it’s normal to have self-esteem problems after that, and self-esteem and self-confidence generally need more time to heal than surgery itself :-) — Tina will have to rebuild trust with Bette too, which is even more difficult when you’re unsecure, but knowing how much Bette loves her, Tina really should try to overcome her insecurity issues and try to rebuild a “normal” life with Bette… this could take time though, I hope not too much !
kinda sad commentary when ya have to worry if someone would love you if you had a scar. where and what i do makes it seems like such pettiness. thanks.
nice one…if only this was how it went…sigh…
Don’t really remember this story from the past and I’m so happy that you are posting it again. Loved Chicki’s comment, so right. PPS
tina shouldn’t worry about bette because the love is obviously there…why are chapters so short?
Just caught up with the story, never did see the first edition so it’s like new for me. Steph, you did a really good job of portraing Tina’s insecurities of the scar. I’v had 4 c-sections and after the 2nd. it was like a zipper to the baby machine but I remember worrying what it was going to be like the first time after the first c-section, I wish those doctors would tell us paticents that their hormones are makeing more of it than it is. Great story please give us another chapter soon. Md