Chapter 67


“PMS”

I wanna talk to the ladies tonight
About situation I’m pretty sure y’all be able to relate to
Trust me

Today I’m not feelin pretty
See I’m feeling quite ugly
Havin one of this days
When I cant make up my mind
So don’t even look at me
See I don’t wanna hear your problem
Cause I’m having some of my own
I know it was not your fault
That I’m feelin down
I just wanna be left alone

Down I’m down and out in depression
I think the worst of everything
My lower back is achin’
And my clothes don’t fit
Now aint that a *****

Got an attitude and I aint talkin to you
Only if the shoe’d fit
I don’t care what you think about me
I don’t need you cryin’ around me
Don’t need your sympathy
I don’t need it, no no
PMS

Go through something in nights
Is the some at day
I don’t need to understand
Where I’m coming from tonight
See I’m feelin messin
Told you, you would be able to late tonight
My lower back is achin’
PMS

And I don’t know what I’m gonna do
I’m fulled stressed
I want y’all to hear what I’m sayin
PMS, PMS, PMS

Understand what I’m sayin tonight
Understand where I’m comin from
Feelin really ***** yeah
And I don’t feel like be a nice to nobody
Don’t feel like smilin no
Don’t feel like smilin no no
See I already know that I’m talkin
PMS

And I don’t need you to remind me
See cause PMS
Is takin no all right now
if you understand, understand where I’m comin from
Sing along, PMS
This is the worst part of everything
The worst part of being a woman is PMS
Give me a break, give me a break
Cause I don’t wanna have to set it on tonight




“Ok Bette – I told you that you could have anything you wanted after we were done with class tonight. So – what will it be?” Tina looked at Bette and smiled.
“I think I want …..hmmmmmm…..let’s see….ah….”
Tina was sure she knew exactly what Bette wanted. Or was she?
“I want to have pancakes!”
“Oh ***** – I offer you whatever you want and you want PANCAKES!”
Bette instantly knew that she had made a BIG mistake – giving in to her PMS cravings – rather that choosing Tina.
“Tina – listen….”
“I don’t want to hear it!” Tina was obviously hurt – hormones raging – feeling like she had to compete with a short stack of pancakes! She stared out the car window and began to cry.
“Tina – you do know that wanting you is a given – right?”
Tina choked back her tears. “Yeah wanting ME AFTER you have your PANCAKES!”
“T – you are not competing with pancakes here – come on – you have to realize that you mean more to me than a ***** stack of pancakes! Come on…please look at me…please look at me!”
“WHY?”
“T – please look at me. I love you – you know that I love you more than anything in the world – right?”
Tina continued to stare out the window – feeling hurt and rejected.
“Ok Tina – how about this…”
“What…?” Tina was now beginning to realize how ridiculous she was being. Bette had been nothing but wonderful to her all throughout the pregnancy – and now she was going to pick a fight over a desire to have pancakes! She wondered what the ***** had possessed her to react like this.
“How about we go to IHOP and satisfy my craving for carbs…then we go home and…Please look at me baby – please…that’s my favorite girl.” Tina looked at Bette – Bette leaned over and kissed her and then whispered. “and then we go home and you make love to me all night long.” Bette leaned over and kissed Tina again. She parted her lips with her tongue and Tina responded – favorably. “How does that sound T…? I’d like nothing more than to have you make love to me for hours and hours…” Bette kissed Tina again. Tina moaned into Bettes mouth as she kissed her passionately.
“Baby…I’m so sorry about the way I….” Bette leaned over and kissed Tina again.
“T…it’s ok…really…it’s ok…” Bette kissed Tina again. She stopped and then looked into her eyes. Bette chuckled.
Tina looked at her and smiled. “What…why are you laughing? What?”
“I don’t know – I just imagined you as a BIG PANCAKE!”
“Are you going to pick on me all night because of this?”
“Not if you don’t pick on me for my little football stunt…DEAL?”
“DEAL!”
Bette looked at Tina again. “Now just to make sure the deal is sealed – I need to kiss you again…ok? Can I kiss you again T?”
Tina just smiled at Bette and nodded in the affirmative. Bette leaned over and kissed Tina again – this time lingering longer as she placed her hands on the sides of Tina’s face -pulling her towards her. They both became lost in the kiss – overwhelmed by their feelings of love for one another. Bette caressed Tina’s cheeks with her thumbs. When they finally stopped kissing – they stared at one another. Desire had overcome appetite!
Bette whispered into Tina’s ear. “***** the pancakes – I’ll get them in the morning…”
“No I really think….”
“No thinking T…let’s just go home – I want you…I really need you…can we just go home…please?”
“Are you begging me now Porter?”
“I’m begging you…yes…I am begging you…” With that, Bette started the car and they drove home. Bette squirmed in her seat the whole way.
When they arrived home Jackie was in the living room with Jake who was eating a bag of Doritos – out of the bag! DA MAN looked up at them and burped! He returned to his feast as if to say -’ you two are gonna be goin’ at it again. Yeah …yeah..I know the deal…go!’
Jackie looked up at the two of them. “So…how was…oh never mind…go ahead you two. I changed your sheets earlier so they’re all crisp and ready for you…So I trust I’ll see you two in the MORNING right?”
“Yeah – ok – goodnight mom!” Tina kissed Jackie on the cheek. Bette did the same.
Bette and Tina scampered off to the bedroom.
“How the ***** can she tell? Tina – I swear to God your mother has ESP or something…”
“It could be the fact that you’re drooling Babe.”
“Stop it – I’m not drooling – am I?” Bette took a quick look in the mirror. “I knew I wasn’t drooling! How can she tell?”
“Well – it is one of the things we seem to do most around here – come on – she’s ok with it….”
“I know – I just want to know how she knows – every time – she knows!”
“Forget it Bette – so what – she knows…big deal….”
“Yeah..” Bette put her arms around Tina’s waist and pulled her closer – “Yeah..big deal…”
“Nope – not this time Babe! My turn to make love to you…So – tell me what you want.”
“Ok – first of all – YOU HAVE TO TOUCH ME! Second – I GET TO TOUCH YOU. Third…”
“Third huh?”
“Yeah – third….take a shower with me T…ok?”
“Whatever you want…that’s what you’ll get!”
“Ok – then I want you to ….”
“You want me to what Babe?”
“I want you to…let me make love to you…you’re only going to be pregnant for a few more weeks and you know how I love the way your body is right now…so can I please make love to you?”
“I suppose so…but…I get to make love to you too – ok?”
“NOW THERE’S A CONCEPT! We’ll make love to each other – we’ll touch each other – talk to each other…” Bette kissed Tina’s forehead. “I love you Tina…I love you so much…do you know how much?”
Tina whispered back at Bette. “I’m sure you’re going to show me…I’m sure…I want you…are you sure you’ll still want me when I’m not all pregnant and huge?”
“I’m sure I’ll still want you … I’ll always want you T.”
“Ok Baby – let’s go take that shower…”
“Tina…I changed my mind – no shower. Let’s just go to bed ok?”
“Are you sure this time? I swear to God when Taylor is old enough to have PMS – Dylan is a dead man. What if all of us have PMS at the same time? Oh – my God – what about menopause? God…I can’t handle this…”
“Tina…please chill out will you. Can we concentrate on why we’re here right now? I think hormones have taken over this house. Even the dog is eating Doritos by the bag – out of the bag. Suddenly this house feels possessed! And that little ***** better not have eaten the last bag – or I’ll kill him!”
Tina burst into laughter. “Now you want to kill the dog over a bag of Doritos…my God…what has come over you…us?”
Tina plopped down on her back on the bed. Bette did the same. They both turned to look at the other at the same time. Tina reached over to Bette and traced her lips with her fingertips. “So crazy and yet so damn *****! I’m so in love with you.”
Bette opened her mouth and pulled one of Tina’s fingers into it. “So much better than a pancake…I love you too. Are we losing our minds?”
“I don’t know – maybe…so what…” Tina began caressing Bette’s cheek. Bette let out a quiet moan and closed her eyes. After a few second she opened her eyes and rolled over on her side and looked at Tina. “Tina – you are so beautiful…just look at you….” Bette sat up and began undressing Tina. when she was finished she undressed herself. She found her place next to Tina – that comfortable place – the place where she always felt safe and loved. “T…do you mind if I have a talk with the babies…”
“Nope – go ahead – I love your little talks – please – go ahead…”
“Ok…” Bette moved down the bed until she was facing Tina’s belly. “Ok you two. Now listen…don’t let tonight scare you. First of all – that was not a real baby that I threw to mommy…I promise I’ll never do that to you two. Never…never…never choose pancakes over your mommy’s affection. She’ll give you a raft of *****.” Tina swatted Bette’s head. “And see – there she goes again – smacking me. But dont worry – she only takes out her frustrations on meyou two are safe. Tina smacked Bettes head again. OUCH – see – what did I tell you – she only does it to meyou know – after you two are born we can have PRIVATE conversations! Itll be a lot less painful – I promise! I love you Bette placed a gentle kiss on Tinas belly and then slid further down on the bed. She ran her hand up and down Tinas legs until she was sure that Tina was ready for her. She moved back up so she was face to face with Tina. She kissed her passionately. She kissed her way down her neck and then down her chest. Bette brushed her lips against Tinas nipple – then she moved over and did the same to her other nipple. She moved back up so she was facing Tina again. God – I love you
I love you too Baby Tina moved her hand down between Bettes legs and slipped inside her. Bette moaned and buried her face in the sheets. When she was able to, she moved her hand between Tinas legs and returned the favor. Tina responded to her touch – her body trembled.
They kissed as they continued to use their hands to make love to each other with an intensity that only two people deeply in love with one another could feel. As they both went over the edge together – they kissed again – both unable to get enough of the other. They held each other tight – there was such comfort and safety to be found in each others arms. They shared a final kiss as they fell asleep holding each other.