Previously

That’s why I accepted. But it was her words that brought the truth full of pain and reality punched me in the face. 24

The last think I recall, Tina, was an airplane ticket…”

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“And…I…I woke up at the hospital four months after a car crash in Mexico. And the only thing I recall was the airplane ticket in my hands…and a feeling of complete satisfaction, happiness warming my body…God! I revive this scene so many days and nights…Searching, trying to reach…”

Bette talks without any care. The words were crisped, fast, savage. And they got me out of guard.

“I… recall the ticket..” She searched her hands. “ And…nothing else…I don’t have any other memory from those moments … I just …don’t remember why I was there…With whom I was…What happened…But I know that it could change my life…That memories could change my life…that days changed my life…”

Bette stopped and looked at me. “Are you ok?” My love sat and watched me carefully.

“Did you have a car accident?” I can remember …I began to cry at that moment. My heart filled with a weighted pain. I throw my arms and gained her body. I cried like the world had finished and I was the last human alive. Emptiness invaded all my senses.

Bette didn’t understand pretty well what was happening, but she received me with open arms.

I cried and I cried and I cried. There were lakes inside of me that I didn’t know about its existence. I cried inside her arms lost to words. I recognized the role, the significance that maybe, possibly, I’ve had inside her tragedy and that feeling damned me for what seamed, hours.

Bette spooned me in silence at the camping air mattress. No words came from her mouth. Nothing. She pulled me closer and let my tears ran free. She caressed my hair and guarded silence. When I felt I could look on her eyes again, I turned and found her face. Our bodies where glued. Her warm was infectious and her eyes covered me with tenderness but, also, expectation.

“It was you.” It came quietly. “it was…you…” I brought my lips closer and I kiss her lightly, but she interrupted, not with violence, but with hurry.

“I knew…I knew…”. A fever took her body. She stood up and her manners forget about softness.

“I knew…I recognized…your face seamed… so dear to me… And I felt so sad. And…So happy…” The feelings parading over her body. “It was you…I wasn’t wrong. She told me that I was there… alone. But I’ve never believe…I could never believe…I couldn’t…I knew something else had happened…I felt so together with …I felt so part of…And I felt so alone when I awoke up… , so lonely, so abandoned! And I felt so apart from her… So solitary…but she didn’t tell me why! She told me…she told me… everything was fine…That we were ok…That I was wrong…We were married and we live just fine… But …But…” She shook her head; her words came in a cascade. The rebel waters after the storm, “…When we made love I claimed something else…Other colors. Other tastes. Other fragrances…Inside her body I utterly belonged to other folds. …But she told me it was the accident…It was a phase…She told me…But…” She suddenly stopped and searched my face.

“It was you…”Her eyes changed the tone. And silence cried out inside the warm and bright night.

 “But…but where were you?!” I could see the pain reaching her blood.

I stood up and tried to get closer. She, however, put space between us.

“No…Tina…” The questions upside down. “Where were you..!!? What happened, Tina?!! What we were?!”

I could feel how much danger I brought to her feelings and the distance filled my eyes with raindrops of sadness.

“I…”

She didn’t stop her torment of thoughts. She didn’t give me time to think.

“What happened, T?!” My consonant, her enchantment, seamed out of place that way. It doesn’t fit in a sentence filled with injures.

“And who are you?”

“I was…I am your lover, Bette.” It was like Bette already knew it.  But What would be new to her ears was the answer to her next question. Thata came and ripped my heart.

“Why did you forget about me?”