Fan Fiction
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6 Months- chapter 29
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Tina Bette began, realizing that there was some exasperation in her voice, and that was not how she wished to answer her question.
She mentally shifted the dialogue in her head and continued.
For months, there was nothing more that I wanted than to have you back in my life. It was the only fuel that coursed through my veins, that desire to have you back, to make you mine again.
Tina could only look at her and wait for her to continue.
But, you didnt want me and I understand that. I guess that the thought of me reviled you to the point that it was necessary to start dating someone else she trailed off.
Tina took a deep breath and held it but said nothing. Just let her go on her mind advised her.
Bette found her voice again and continued. As I said, I understand your inability to accept anything that I was saying, and not that it is water under the bridge at this point, but it is behind us.
The choice that I made in coming here was very intentional. You see Tina, after I knew that I had no chance with you, I was put in a place of having to make a decision. The choice of coming here was not really that at all. It was a path that I knew that I had to follow. Not only was leaving LA what I felt to be best for you, but also felt that coming to NY would be best for me.
This is not easy to say and so I hope that you are able to understand where it is coming from.
Tina braced herself for what she was about to hear from Bette, begging that it was not going to be the words that she was dreading.
Bette continued.
For so long Tina, it was all about you. After my infidelity, there was nothing left. We had, yes WE, I will reiterate, destroyed our relationship, and yet I finally put it out of its sad misery with that affair.
Tina felt the tears running down her face and had to keep herself from leaning to Bette, wishing just to hold her.
Tina, I dont think that I have ever been so alone after all of that. Lonely? Sure. But alone? Never. You see, all I had was Kit, and the wreckage that became my life. The exodus to New York was one intended to heal and rebuild and that is what I have begun.
Without me Tina sadly thought.
The last 6 weeks have not been unhealthily absorbed with trying to get you back. I will not lie to you Tina, there has not been a day that I have not thought about you, but I am sorry, it would be a lie to say that I have still been trying to come up with ways to get us back.
Tina felt that she could not breathe, and so just continued to listen.
Both my mind and body needed to heal and that is exactly what had been happening until you got here this morning. she added.
Why do I feel like I know where this is going? thought Tina sadly. For the first time, she hung her head, unable to look at Bette as she continued.
Bette looked around the room, trying to determine the way to continue.
I meant what I said in the kitchen a little while ago, T. I am scared.
Tina looked up at the use of Bettes nickname for her that she loved so much. It had been so long since she had heard that. That slight sense of hope that she had had in the kitchen began to show itself again.
She looked into Bettes eyes again, and willed her to continue.
Accepting you as no longer a part of my life was the most heart wrenching decision that I have ever had to make. It was like accepting a death, but worse, as I knew that you were still alive and healthy, just choosing not to be with me. It took me to a ledge that I have been making baby steps to back away from. she quietly whispered.
Tina just held on, not moving, barely breathing.
I want you T Bette said.
I just dont want the pain. I dont know that I can walk away from that ledge again. I cant go through that period in my life again. I just cant. she admitted.
Tinas body screamed for her to go to Bette, take her in your arms and take some of this pain away, but again, she just sat there, knowing that Bette was not ready for that. She had to let her talk this through. She had to let Bette come to her on her own terms. Bette had to be the one that just like before, when she decided that Tina was no longer a part of her life, had to decide that she would be a part of her life again, letting her back in.
Tina watched this struggle that Bette was going through and just waited.
I, started Bette. God, I just dont ***** know. Her heart was leading her in one direction, but her mind has begging for her to run in the other.
Bette watched Tina watching her. She just looked at Tina, and Tina allowed her to.
***** Bette muttered, somewhat under her breath.
I guess that I do know she thought to herself.
She stood up from the sofa and walked to the window, her back to Tina. She looked at the world that was happening outside of this apartment and thought, it is time to be a part of it.
She turned to Tina and said, How long can you stay in New York?
How long are you here for? was Tinas response.
Bette walked back to the sofa and this time, sat right next to Tina.
I am not going to lie to you, T, I am somewhat broken.
Well, lets just put you back together then she smiled.
You think that its possible? questioned Bette, allowing a small smile to cross her face.
Think? No. Absolutely certain of? Yes. Tina answered with strength.
This time, Tina listened to her body and pulled Bette into a tight embrace. We will do this thought Tina. And this time, it will be together.
Bette thought about the outside world that she wanted them to be a part of and thought, maybe not just yet.
And she let Tina hold her.
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WOW!!! I will say it over and over again…I love how you are telling this story!!
All I can say is YES!!!I am over joyed.
“It took me to a ledge that I have been making baby steps to back away from”…I really liked this visual. I just love Bette and Tina and I love your story.
EXCELLENT!! You did’nt let her run.. Let them heal each other and have a fling in NY.. Please go on.
I reallly really love this series, one of the best ones yet…but I’m starting to think Bette is acting a little (itsy bitsy) too victim..I mean honestly if the second season where to play out like this series began, can you really say that Tina isn’t well within her rights? for treating Bette badly? I mean throughout the whole season Tina has been catering to Bette’s needs..I think the only time I saw tina stand up for herself was when she wanted that pool for her pregnancy, and when she hired candace..she’s a pushover..lol I mean I prolly would too for J.Beals:)..but the whole ‘you hurt me’ vibes im getting from bette now is..I dont know out of place…not to say I want you to change a thing…because I absolutely love this story..just like voicing (typing) my opinion…pls dont hate me lol..keep up the good work!!
Thanks for getting us to this point. And again, thanks for the realistic spin on the B&T breakup. Tina rejected Bette for so long that she had to pick up the pieces and continue with her life. It’s not easy. But real life is not composed of tearful automatic reunions. Thanks for posting this story.
alright! three more chapters since the last time i logged on. damn girl, i guess if you had writer’s block we would only get one a day! i will gladly keep the block if you promise to just keep posting at the speed you have been doing. say hi to your other half from all of us. have fun, but don’t forget to write!
You write this so well I feel as if I can actually see this playing out.
I find both their reactions very real. After all love is such a state of change.
Yes.. Yes..you are rocking my friend.. This has been great, I feel hopeful and happy.. Looking for more..
Oh, I totally believe (*in this story*) that Bette is now equally broken as Tina was after the affair. They both are carrying a world of hurt only they caused each other. I’m glad there won’t be a quick fix for these two—this story has lent itself well in building up the dynamics for a long emotional recovery. I’m interested to see how Tina’s reconciliation of the affair and the aftermath that ensued will pan out given that Bette is not readily able to offer her the same reassurances she was capable of promising before the move.
The first part of my comment was directed at Alexis, which I failed to mention.
Also, I agree with you wholeheartedly, dny.
lol I didn’t think many would agree with me. i wasn’t blasting Bette, but I’m just saying I feel the story has moved over into Bette’s court..a little much..I think bette brought her most of her hurt onto herself..in so many words. When Tina rejected Bette…she was hurting..just like most of any of us would if the love of your life cheated on you. Don’t get me wrong..Tina isnt an angel just.. 6 months may be a long time to wait for someone, but I think 7 years is an even longer period of time to just throw away..
each are so broken with heartache and so broken mentally that it will take all the love that they posses and confidance and trust and to lean and communicate to each other. Like Bette mentioned she can’t relive the pain and their old life again. So each will help each other that is what we do as partners in life. Thanks for this well written story.
Skipton, you rock. I can’t get enough of this story.
Just read all of the chapters and I am on board with the emotional two step you have so skillfully crafted. Thank you and please give us more.
WOW what a great chapter although I was a little nervous as to how it would end. You are soo good at emotions..The Best! I’m not sure but I think I’ll need medication to read the rest! Thanks
great chapter… and i shall nickname you the “speedy writer”. Man, you do write fast! And I don’t think I can come up with more words without sounding too cheezy :P.
Thank you for another chapter.I agree with Skipton.Bette has been begging for 6 months.Tina told her to get lost.When Bette was about to feel good about herself,Tina showed up on her door and expected Bette to trust her again. Bette is afraid to get hurt agian.She is human afterall.
They have all said it over and over again, but I have to sa it also, great story, keep writing.
This is great!
I just got in from my lil vacation and ran right to my computer to read all your chapters I missed. Bravo wonderful I’m still hooked.
more, more more! im hooked. i cant wait to read more…. you rock!
Skipton… I must say that I absolutely love the direction you are taking us with this whole B&T hurt/comfort spiral of emotion. Please… please… oh please don’t succumb to the pressure of getting B&T to kiss mad make up and all is well again that easily. Honestly if you had chosen the easy way out just simply make them kiss and make-up I would not have been so helplessly hooked with the brilliance of your style of writing. I think you aim to tease… yes that’s why you make it short. It’s like come get it… when they’re hooked… yanked it away… entice some more… hooked… snickered and reel “em in. I think you absolutely know what you’re doing to us Skipton
Ummm…Oh.. yea *naughty smile*
sooooooooo beautiful…….
This was absolutely brilliant! You the (WO)Man!!!
I’m playing catch up again. Very powerful. I have a few more chapters to go. Good job.