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    Why? – (Chapter: a world of wonder may be paradise to me)

    Story written on August 9, 2007 by jordansonny1.
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    Genre(s): N/A
    Rating: N/A
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    Number of Comments: 12
    Words: 2066
    Story Shortlink: https://www.lf.beardesk.com/?p=15551
    Author Notes:

    Spencer is raped and has to deal with it but even worst she has to tell Ashley and face the effects it will have on their relationship

    "I know that if I have heaven
    there is nothing to desire.
    Rain and river, a world of wonder
    may be paradise to me".

    China Roses…(The Memory of Trees)

      

    Are you ready now?" she asked me "yes" I say shakily I take another sip of water and begins.

     

    "I was walking back from this study group. We were studying most of the night, I remember thinking, before I walked into that alley, that it was a great place to get raped in, isn’t that funny?" she wasn’t laughing just nodding her head and listening carefully, giving me strength to go on.

    "It was so dark and he came out of nowhere" I continued "he grabbed me from behind and pushed me against the wall… ". ‘I can’t do this, it’s too hard…’ ‘No you have to keep going its been long enough’

    "I could feel his breath on my face so close to my mouth, he smelled so bad. I screamed for him to stop that I have money and I’ll give him anything he wanted, but he just said ‘shut up’ and kept going. he pulled my skirt up and ripped my panties I could hear him giggling his belt taking his pants off. I knew what was coming, I was crying so hard but no one could hear me. I was scared and I wanted it all to stop, so my mind just closed up. it wasn’t me he was pushing into. It wasn’t me down there being violated, being raped. It wasn’t me… but it was" I was crying now she hugged me

    "Its o.k., it’s over now. He’s not going to hurt you ever again" she said but I knew the truth. He will never stop hurting me every time I’ll walk alone in an empty street every time I’ll make love. He will be there.

    "I know what you are thinking, you think it will never be over, and you are partly right you may never get over it completely but you are making great progress. you are dealing with your feeling and not shutting them out." My psychologist said smiling ‘yea I wasn’t easy I know.’ it took a long time for me to open up.

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    Comments

    1. okay so ash was raped before she met spencer and was talking to her therapist than she remembered when they first had sex and now it’s back to ash holding spencer….okay…got it pms

    4. ok…hold up…i think i am not getting it but let me take a crack at it…..spencer was raped, and now it seems as if spencer was raped…so they were both raped, and both don’t know it yet…am i getting this right??? if not…someone explain it to me please….however, I love the updates….they are really emotional and angsty….update soon…

    7. okay so ash was raped before she met spencer and was talking to her therapist than she remembered when they first had sex and now it’s back to ash holding spencer….okay…got it pms

    10. ok…hold up…i think i am not getting it but let me take a crack at it…..spencer was raped, and now it seems as if spencer was raped…so they were both raped, and both don’t know it yet…am i getting this right??? if not…someone explain it to me please….however, I love the updates….they are really emotional and angsty….update soon…

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