Today’s been a really shitty day. That’s kind of obvious, I know. Well you can label me “Captain Fucking Obvious”. Too bad I’m not really getting any. At all. Am I saving myself? No. Hell no.

Every single time I have a hot girl in my house…or in the bathroom…or in the janitor’s closet…or…you get the point, they’re always blonde, they’re always carbon copies of Spencer, and I always imagine that it’s her that I’m fucking. Maybe that’s kind of creepy? I don’t know. I just know it would be better with her. I’ve made the mistake of screaming out her name before with other girls. Don’t believe me? Ask Carrie, and Jessica, and Michelle, and Molly…and…oops. Oh well. Fuck them. I sure did. But I didn’t feel anything. There was nothing there. No spark, no “oomph”. You know what I mean? It was all about getting off. I mean sure, I got off, they got off, everyone’s happy, right? I used to be that person. I was that person for a very long time. Until Spencer moved to my high school.

You probably think I’m crazy. This deep in love with her. You think it’s some kind of obsession, right? Yeah, that’s what my shrink told me. Actually, that’s what all my shrinks told me. No disrespect to them, but honestly, you don’t treat the patient just to fuck the mom. Seven out of twelve psychologists agree, Christine Davies is a good fuck. But really, that’s all she’s good for. Being a mother? Hell no. And my father? I shouldn’t even call him a father. He’s never home, always in New York with his firm. AIG? Yeah. All the rich people getting bonuses in this shitty economy? That’s him. What a d-bag.

But back to me. I’m sitting at lunch at King High, the school of Hell for the past four years for me. I can feel a pair of eyes on me. You know that feeling? When you know someone is watching you, but you don’t want to look up obviously to scare them away so you can figure out who’s watching you. Okay, I’m not the most smooth person out there, so I really can’t do that.

I pull an obvious head-up, head-swivel movement and quickly look around, trying to catch someone. I hope to god it’s Spencer, but of course, it’s not. It never is. She’s busy chatting away with her friends. Damn. I continue staring at her, lost in my own little world, when suddenly, she looks up, straight at me.