Ashley sat for another few minutes, quietly contemplating the question. She knew Spencer was shifting in her seat beside her, anxious for an answer. She knew full well that Spencer hated her hesitation, her lack of a quick, clean answer for the question, but Ashley wanted to really think about it.

There was no doubt that she wanted to be with Spencer, but she was painfully aware of the fact that she had responsibilities back in London. She had her job, her flat, her life there. She sighed as she thought of all things she would have to leave behind. The soft hand that crept into hers reminded her of all the things she would be gaining.

“You know, this habit you have of not answering when I ask pretty important questions is kind of annoying.”

Spencer’s voice was light, but Ashley recognized the fear in her undertones. For a second she felt hurt that Spencer was still doubting her, but she could not with a clear conscious blame her. She had once been the master of disappointment after all.

“I know, but I’m just taking a moment to think it through. This isn’t hesitation so much as it is deep contemplation.”

Ashley smiled as a small chuckle reached her ears and kissed Spencer’s temple when she pulled her into her side. She wanted her close, wanted her to feel her reassurance in her embrace.

“You were never much for deep contemplation if I remember correctly, more of a do first and think later, if ever, kind of girl.”

Ashley smiled again, because that was true. The people here had never known her as anything but a hot headed, irresponsible girl. Her smile faded as she realized that changing their minds about her might not be so easy. Even Spencer, who she knew was crazy in love with her, probably still had doubts.

“Well, I like to think I’ve come a far way since those days.”

Spencer just gave a small nod, giving Ashley the time she needed. She was fully aware that one of them would have to give something up to be together, something big and that deserved careful thought. Her train of thought was interrupted by Ashley’s uncharacteristically demure voice.

“A few years back, after I cleaned up my act and dropped the drugs, I wanted to come back. I had my ticket reserved and everything. Then it hit me. Even if I came back, what would I have been coming back to? I knew you were with Carmen and I realized that I didn’t stand a chance. So I stayed, I built a life for myself, got a job, even a few good friends. It’s nice really, I have pottery classes on Tuesday nights, I go away every second month to my place in Spain and I have a job that I really love that keeps me busy for the rest of the time. A lot of people have way less than that to be happy with. But you know what?”