Ashley will be getting here any second now.. I couldnt even sleep last night I keep thinking about whats going to happen today is she gonna be with me or reject me.. she loves me.. she loves me not AH! Ashley please love me I been walking around the house going up and down the stairs wow after this my legs are going to be huge!… Since my parents are both working till late I decided to make this special and have a dinner with candles, roses and music I want her to feel like she deserves.. words cant even explain..

 "knock knock" omg omg omg! is the door she is here god if she decides to be with me i swear ill clean my house and be nice to my parents anything just to be with her… "hey beutiful’ i couldnt help but noticed she looked a little out of it and maybe like she is been crying not a good sign at all.. "hi Spence".. "are you ok sweetie?" she ignore the question and just walked inside as soon as she saw the dinner i had made she turn to look at me with tears on her eyes "Spence this looks.. looks amazing you are sweetest girl I ever met and i love that about you and that note jeez that note.. I never had someone write something like that to me.. and to be honest it scares me, Spency I.. I love you I do but relationships are not me I’m not ready.. I really dont want to hurt you Its better for you to find a person that truly deserves you and I dont think that person its me Im sorry I cant do this" speechless.. do you know how is it feel to have your heart taken out then rip it into little pieces and then having that person step all over it well i felt like that but ten times worse… why was she doing this to me? did i do something wrong? please just someone help me " But Ash I want you I love you I need you and i do think we deserve each other please dont do this" now I had tears rolling down my faces not being able to stop them.." Spencer please I..I can’t please understand me I dont want to hurt you" she has no idea what she is doing to me right now I dont think my heart can take this "But YOU ARE Ashley! I know you love me and I love you isnt that enough" she just looked at me getting closer..she caught me off guard by kissing me soon turning into a deep passionate last kiss.. "I’m sorry beutiful I’ll always love you" and with that she left..leaving me with dinner, music and a broken heart…