I pressed Spencer up against the couch, I couldn’t believe we were finally kissing.

 Was i dreaming?, nope i’m really kissing Spencer Carlin and its even more amazing than i imagined it.

I took Spencer’s hand and lead her to my bed, never breaking the kiss. As I layed on top of her, the kiss deepened but I realized Spencer tensed up.

 oh no she’s probably scared dammit.

 i decided to say something, um spence, i said, maybe we should slow down. she nervously said, um i’ve never done this before ash, i don’t know, but if you want to then yeah lets do it, i don’t know why i’m so nervous, i’ll be fine keep going.

Are you sure?, I asked. Yeah, its totally fine, totally. God i hope so, I wasn’t sure but i went back to kissing Spencer i just really wanted this, I gently made my way down Spencer’s neck, but I realized spencer was trembling.

dammit she really isn’t ready. be patient ashley. Spence, are you sure this is what you want? i said.

 I don’t, well i don’t know it’s what you want so lets just get it over with okay? wait what? of course i want this but if your not ready its not a big deal, i can wait spence, i really like you spencer i’m not some sex-crazed jerk. when you’re ready it’ll be great, its not something that you just "get over with". yeah your right she said, i mean i’m just new to this you know, we should take things slow.

yeah it’s fine, i said, no pressure. i mean sure i really really want spencer carlin, i mean really, but i can wait a while.

your just so amazing ashley, she said what did i ever do to deserve you? she really is too cute sometimes, gosh i love her, i said your the one i don’t deserve. i really mean it, spencer is so cute and loving and i’m just, well a jerk sometimes.

she gave me a quick kiss and layed in my arms and i was surprised at how quickly she fell asleep. i really can’t believe that she’s laying in my arms, and all i can think about is having her, maybe i am a sex-crazed jerk! i mean i love her its not just about sex but how amazing would it be! i really hope i’m not a jerk and screw it up just cause i want her.