"Ash, just tell her." We’re sitting here at the lunch table arguing, but I manage to glaze over at Spencer every few minutes.

"Dude, it’s not that simple."

"I’m sure she’ll understand."

"No! I don’t want to lose her. If I don’t have her as atleast a friend, I like I’ll go crazy." She takes a moment to think.

"I know what you mean. Look, just do what you feel it right."

"Right now, I’m not sure what’s up and what’s down."

"What has made today so different?"

"Well, this Brittney chick from our middle school was hitting on Spencer in first period."

"Oooooo."

"Yeah. It made me think: what if someone gets to her before I gather the courage to tell her. I mean I know she’s had boyfriends, but when it’s with another girl, it just feel so different."

"Like, you want to be her first." I raise my eyebrow and Madison laughs. "Her first girlfriend, you dummy."

"Yeah I guess that’s it. I’m not even sure myself." I drift off.

Mads shruged and went back to eating. Looking over at Spencer, I see her laughing with Brittney. Damn that girl. She leans closer to Spencer and whispers in her ear. I clench my jaw. She pulls back with a toothy grin smacked across her face. Spencer smiles, but it’s fake. I can tell. Maybe she’s not interested in her after all.

Damn it. I missed the ball again. Running my hands over my pony tailed hair, I roll my eyes. Spencer and her cheerleaders are practicing on the bleachers and I can’t contentrate. Her back is facing me and I get a good look at her ass. So perfect. I watch her as she goes over the new routine with them. Out of the cornor of my eye, I see some one waving. Is it at me? I look over at the girl to see that it’s Kyla. Grining, I wave back. I guess Spencer sees the distrated Kyla and turns around to look at me.  Spotting me, she beams and also waves. My mind goes haywire. She is gorgeous. Relizing I’m just standing there, I snap out of it and wave back to her. Trying to give her just as big of a smile as the one she gave me. Wham! What the hell was that? Oh jeez. It was the volleyball. Oh the pain! Tearing my eyes away from her, I hold my head in my hands.

"Oh my God, Ashley. Are you ok?"

"Yeah, Chels. I’m fine." I state, rubbing the side of my head where the ball hit.

"You sure?"

"Yup. I’m good."

"Ok whatever you say."

Gathering the courage to look back over at Spencer, I see that she laughs a little and goes back to her squad. My do I have to be such an idiot?

"Ok girls, go dress in!" Coach Taylor yells out. Sighing I start to walk to the locker room, when I felt a warm hand wrap itself around my wrist.

"That was one hell of a hit." Spencer. My breath hitches and I strain to say something.

I giggle. "I know. It hurt so bad." Her hand reaches out and brushes along the throbbing area.

"It’s all red." She pulls her hand back, and knitts her eyebrows in worry.

"I’ll be fine. Though my head is pounding." But my heart is beating even faster.

Rolling over on to my back, yet again, I close my eyes in desperate need of sleep. Opening them once again, I gaze over at my clock. 2:11. Damn. I really need to get to sleep. I shut my eyes only to have Spencer’s face pop up. God, I wish I could tell her. Just stop her at a good time, and be like, "I have a humungo crush on you. Please tell me I have a chance." Pst, like that’s gonna happen. I don’t have the gutts. I don’t even know how I maganed to tell Mads.If only there was a way to just tell her how I feel, without her knowing who I am. But that’s not even possible. Wait a minute. No. I’m not gonna be some secret admirer. That’s crazy. But then again… it’s perfect.