Well imagine that I can’t sleep just so much going through my head.  I’m thinking about Madison I know that will never go anywhere I mean she can’t even know that I have feelings for her and seeing her with Beth oh that burns.  Now Ashley is talking about feelings and caring about me and I have no clue where I stand.  Freaking Tom is still trying to get with me.  He is sweet but  just not what I’m looking for i guess.  I have no interest what so ever and my roommates don’t want to hear it, they want me with him.  Then last but least there is CC we have been hanging out a lot and maybe I am starting to develop feelings.  Or maybe I know its just whats suppose to be right.  I hate this I’m going crazy and have no one to talk to because Jess isn’t answering her phone.  I can’t wait for her to get here she keeps pushing the date back that freaking whore!  Well there is only one thing to do now and thats write.  I grab my laptop and move into the living room and start typing away.  The words were just flowing out, after I finish with my last line I read it.

If having to watch you love somone that isn’t me

Then I want to be blind, I no longer want to see

Telling someone else that you love them if that’s what I have to hear

Then I want to be deaf, to keep from these tears

Seeing you everyday brings me so much pain

Being around you just drives me insane

I’m never happier than when I’m with you

But of course you don’t know this, you have no clue

No matter what you feel I feel

But yet my emotions to you have no appeal

How long will I have to go through all this

Everything I do for you is a strike and a miss

I feel like I can never do anything right

And just always ends up in a fight

Sometimes I feel it better to just run away

Run from this burden that is so heavy on me if I stay

The true question is could I possible handle that space

Could I actually stand not talking to you or seeing your face

Day by day I slowly die inside

These emotions that I have I can only hide

I know it is something that will never be

But that can’t help stop all these feelings that overtake me

I could give you anything that you wanted

But the thoughts of us is just something in my mind that is haunted

My tears are from this tremendous heart ache

I don’t know how much more I can take

Spending so much time with you is such a tease

Can’t we just be together please

When that day comes that we part

I know that will be the darkest day in my heart

Well that doesn’t help who did I write that about?