It takes me a second to realize what’s going on. My mind slowly catches up with the rest of my body as it dawns on me, as I react to the kiss Spencer initiated, as I register my back being pressed to the door frame and slender hands moving up my sides, as I feel needy kisses being planted along my neck and a hand making its way to the buttons of my jeans. And once the realization dawns on me, I get lost. I lose myself in the feel of our bodies being pressed together, in the lack of hesitation in her actions. I lose myself in absolutely everything that is Spencer.

She manages to slide her hand past the waistband of my jeans before I stop her. She pulls back from the kiss I stopped returning and looks at me. I take her hands in mine and move them away from my body.

“We’re not doing this, Spencer.”

She pulls her hands from mine. “Doing what?”

“This,” I say gesturing between us. “This…little game. You win okay? I’m done.”

She stares at me, a look of sadness on her face. “You’re done?”

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I am.” It comes out a little more broken than I had intended.

She scoffs lightly. “So much for never giving up,” she says before turning and walking out the door, not even attempting to shield herself from the onslaught of rain. I watch her for just a second before an anger I hadn’t known was there boils over and explodes, sending me to chase after her.

I catch up to her before she has the chance to get too far from the house and spin her around to face me. “Don’t, okay? You don’t get to do that, you don’t get to make me feel like shit right now. I’ve tried okay? All I’ve done this past month is try…and all you’ve done is-”

“Push you away.” It comes out soft, barely even above a whisper.

And just like that, all the anger I had been feeling completely disappears. “Yeah.”

She looks away from me, her eyes focusing on her car parked in the distance. I can still see the look of sadness on her face and I know it mirrors the one on mine. I notice that her lip is trembling and my mind seems to finally register that we’re both standing out in the rain, getting soaked to the bone. “You know, I get…” I take in a deep breath, my body trembling as I do, another reminder that we’re standing amidst the rain. “I get that this is hard for you and I know that I haven’t made it any easier, but I’m not gonna keep playing this game with you Spence. You can’t kiss me now and decide later that Stacey is what you want.”