My life is simple these days, it is that of waiting, nothing but waiting. It’s the waiting that is killing me. Ashley is still in the hospital, still fighting. It is true what I said, she looks better than me most days. I don’t sleep very much and even when do my dreams are either nightmares of the accident or replayed memories with Ashley, making me just more sad when I wake up to find her still like this. I only eat when Grandma Jo makes me, and she does when she comes to see Ashley everyday. The only time I leave Ashley’s side is when I go take my shower each day while Jo is there or when I have to go to the bathroom. I know it may sound crazy but, I just can’t bring myself to leave her side. I sit there hold her hand, talk to her. I tell her stories of our childhood, beautiful memories we had together, praying that those aren’t the last memories that we will make together. Grandma Jo continues to tell me that she will come out of this somehow and that Ashley is too stubborn not too. And, I believe her, more because I don’t want to imagine a life without Ashley. I have prayed more in these last few months than I have in my entire life, praying for her to just open her eyes and come back to me. The doctors say she’s a "tough one", she continues to prove them wrong and surprise them. But, it is what has happened so far that continues to run through my mind and scare the shit out of me. Like the fact that if that bullet had been any closer my dear friend would be gone. Or that Ashley has actually died twice, what if that happens again and this time she doesn’t come back from it. Or that she lost so much blood, she had to have a transfusion, twice. Because of that my blood now runs through Ashley’s veins, making us truly a part of one another. Like Ashley said to me when we were eleven "blood sisters". Now as I sit here I think back at that day, we were sitting in Ashley room laid out on our back listening to music.