Chapter 4

"Ash I need to tell you something"

She’s looking at me straight in the eyes im not sure what she thinks I need to tell her but all I see in her beautiful brown eyes is fear, I don’t like seeing this anything but happiness in her eyes is not acceptable to me. I flash her a gentle smile and pull her over to the bed I thought it best if we sit down for this, I know she can’t hate me for being gay but she can hate me for the scene I just let happen 10 minutes ago, making her feel guilty about being gay it wasn’t intentional but I still didn’t speak up. We are sitting facing each other Indian style legs crossed. I just look up at her and start to speak.

"Ash Im gay too im sorry that I just caused such a scene for you before but I couldn’t speak that was the last thing I was expecting and im sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner than today I just thought you would hate me if I was gay and I didn’t want you to hate me I really like you ash, I know I’ve only known you for a little while but your like the best friend I have here and I didn’t want to ruin it" she’s looking at me with a look I’ve never seen before she has a smile but her eyes are still sad I don’t like it I want it to go away it makes me feel sick when she’s sad. She’s off in her own world she’s no longer looking into my eyes she is looking past me above my shoulder; it’s making me nervous. "Ash speak to me please, tell me what’s going through your mind" I say worrying that she still hasn’t spoke this must have been what it felt like for her because all I want to do right now is run ‘Get up and run are you stupid she obviously doesn’t want to talk to you’ is all that is running through my head right now. "Umm Ash I think im going to go, I’ll talk to you tomorrow or something im going to walk home" she just nods sadly and I stand up, I collect all of my things together and put them in my bag. Making my way downstairs I can’t help but let a tear roll down my cheek and before I know it there is more to join it.