EXT. – L’AMANDIER RESTAURANT – DAY
[Valets wait to park expensive cars.]
Tonya: (off screen) Love at first sight.
INT. – L’AMANDIER RESTAURANT – DAY
[Classical music plays. Tonya, dressed in a business suit, sits at a table with several others. Dana comes walking in, in her tennis gear.]
Tonya: At the Dinah Shore weekend of all places! (sees Dana) Here comes the bride!
[Tonya gets up and runs over to Dana. Dana smiles nervously at the people at the table.]
Tonya: Honey!
Dana: Hi, honey.
[Tonya gives her a kiss.]
Tonya: (kissing) Mm. Mm.
Dana: What’s going on? Thought it was just us.
[We see, seated at a long dining table, are six others.]
Tonya: Dana.
Dana: Yeah?
Tonya: (pointing) This is Vanessa Godson from Absolut Vodka.
Dana: Hi.
Tonya: You know Brian Karikawa from Subaru. Nina Alexander from Bride Magazine. We have Roman Brown from Wilson.
Roman: (smiling) Hi.
Tonya: Sam Counter from The Advocate.
[Sam waves.]
Tonya: And of course you know our business manager.
Dana: Eric?
Eric: (smiling) (waves) Hey, Dana.
[Dana smiles just a little. She doesn’t look too enthused.]
Tonya: Have a seat.
[Dana sits at the opposite head of the table. Tonya walks around to the other.]
Tonya: Okay. Research shows our country is obsessed with weddings, especially celebrity weddings. Together, we are gonna produce an event unlike any they have ever seen. Welcome to the first-ever, corporate-sponsored, celebrity lesbian wedding!
[Polite applause ensues. Dana is not impressed. Tonya takes her seat.]
Tonya: (happy sigh) Now if we could all turn to page four of our packets.
[Everybody picks up the packet in front of them labeled in cursive, “Dana Fairbanks Celebrity Wedding”. On page four is a mock-up showing Dana and Tonya standing next to a Subaru Outback with the words “Just Married” on the back window.]
Tonya: Picture this. A gleaming white Subaru with “Just Married” stenciled on the back window.
Brian: Subaru Outback? (smiling) It’s clever, Tonya.
[Everybody smiles in agreement. Others are flipping through their packets. One page shows a mock-up cover of The Advocate showing Dana and Tonya smiling together.]
Tonya: We’ll have simultaneous covers on The Advocate, and Bride Magazine, each with a back page Absolut Vodka ad.
[Everyone flips to the Absolut ad. It shows an illustration of Dana and Tonya at their wedding, smiling at each other. The concept reads, “Here’s to a marriage not on the rocks!” Dana looks at Tonya, unsure.]
Vanessa: (reading) “Here’s to a marriage not on the rocks.” (to Tonya) That’s fantastic.
Roman: And the car could be dragging Wilson tennis ball cans.
Vanessa: I love it.
Tonya: You read my mind, Roman. After all, it takes balls to break the law.
[Everyone chuckles. Dana finally smiles and laughs.]
Tonya: Dana and I won’t just be making our commitment to each other. We’ll be making history.
Vanessa: No. Herstory. Absolut herstory.
Tonya: Exactly.
[Dana looks happy.]
INT. – THE CALIFORNIA ARTS CENTER – BOARD ROOM – DAY
[Bette sits at a table with a few others. Her boss, Franklin, is up pouring himself some water.]
Bette: There are three new shows I’d like to commission.
Franklin: I assume we’re counting on the Peabody Foundation to underwrite some of this?
Bette: Well, they have funded it for the past six years.
Franklin: (sitting) Yes, but Peggy Peabody is stepping down. And, uh, her daughter Helena is taking over. Could be a whole new ballgame. Bad news, is, we don’t know what Helena Peabody has in mind. Good news is that she’s one of your people.
[Franklin examines some photos through a lens.]
Bette: One of “my people”?
Franklin: Mm-hmm.
Bette: What are you referring to, what, is she a Yale graduate, an art history major, is she a mulatto gal, is that what you’re trying to say?
Franklin: (curt) I meant she’s a lesbian.
Bette: And why is that a good thing?
Franklin: Because I thought your paths might have crossed. It could be useful.
Bette: Right. Because me and (makes air quotes) my people, we’re all on a first-name basis.
Franklin: May I suggest you get on one? Because if we lose that grant –
Bette: (irritated) Franklin, if you want me to go to New York and make nice, I will. But please, stop panicking. I’ll handle it.
[James walks in.]
James: (to others) Uh, excuse me. (to Bette) Uh, there’s a Brad Green on the phone. He’s called like fourteen times.
[James walks out. Bette rolls her eyes and goes to the phone in the corner of the room. She picks it up.]
Bette: (sighs) (phone) What part of “no” don’t you understand, Mr. Green? I am not going to write you a blank check just because you yell like a fucking banshee. (irritated) I need an estimate. The insurance company needs an estimate, do you see a pattern here, it’s the way things are done.
[The others in the room look uncomfortable. Franklin examines his photos and looks around nervously.]
Bette: (phone) (sighs) Listen, you asshole, if you keep pushing me, you’re gonna end up with a lawsuit on your hands, you got it? (listens) Bring it on, you fucking dwarf.
[Bette slams the phone down and walks back to her seat.]
Bette: Shall we move on?
[Seething, Bette gives Franklin a curt smile.]
